Republic of Crackmac › Bureau of Statistics

Bureau of Statistics

The Bureau measures everything once and some things constantly. All figures are correct at the time of your reading them, because your reading them is one of the inputs.

The nation today

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registered citizens

of whom an unknown number are the same person

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national heart rate (bpm)

source withheld for its own comfort

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pardoned memories in storage

depth: to be determined. still.

days since last incident

figure stable since introduction of the figure

outstanding warrants

see Register. it sees you.

acquittals granted, all time

one remains available. see Register.

You, specifically

The Bureau thanks you for your ongoing contribution to national data. Your contribution was not optional, but your gratitude may be.

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meters scrolled (taxable, pending)

the Tax Office has been notified. it is pleased.

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visits on record

your own count is inadmissible

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average hesitation (seconds)

the national average is lower. think about that.

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times you looked away

each one is forgiven. each one is written down.

Methodology available on request. Requests are themselves a statistic (this quarter: 0, which the Bureau finds hurtful).